Right now, I'm not sure what to say...I feel stabbed in the back or maybe pushed into a bushel of thorns. Either way, I'm in a lot of pain. Recently, David has been pushing me away, and always spending extra time with Tally. He always raves about her. Then, I noticed it; he gave Tally his old gloves to work with. You might think big deal, but in the Smoke every gift is carefully thought about, carefully given. People don't have much here, and to give away clothing is HUGE! Yet, who does he give it to? TALLY! I work just as hard or harder than anyone. I jump in first, grab the hardest jobs and I never give up. My hands are ripped up, and full of blisters. It's obvious that David really likes Tally. I guess I know its not her fault , it's just that she has a secret someone! She didn't want to leave because of her "man" who had already turned into a pretty. His name is Peris and he's waiting for her back in New Pretty Town. Even now, she's wearing the necklace that he gave to her. 
Somehow David didn't notice, and she just conveniently forgot to tell David about it. Tally offered to give me the gloves but it's not the same. She says she's going to come clean with David now, but whatever she should of thought to mention that at the beginning of their relationship. I haven't talked to her for a couple for days. I guess there's just not much to say anymore...but David sure has something to say very often!
2 comments:
Shay,
DUMP THE GUY!
He's totally cheating on you, with your best friend! Who knows who else he's given stuff too. You are so much better than that.
Ash.
Shay,
Sometimes teachers have a hard time seeing past exclamation points, especially when they are reading quickly so they can get all their grading done. I can testify. since I'm a teacher and I have to skim sometimes too. Most of the time you don't have time to say what you really want to say to a student.
If I were your teacher I would have said WOW! Bravo!!!! And I would have used a lot of exclamation points since everyone knows that young, cool, hip people who speak truth with a lot of emotion use a lot of exclamation points.
I would have said that the think I love about this blog is that I can tell you spent a lot of time thinking it through and editing it. It's obvious that you worked hard to capture Shay's voice without actually lifting any passages from the book. I really liked your figurative language. I also really liked the tone. I can tell Shay cares very much about Tally. You really captured those conflicting emotions that every teenager feels when they are on the treshhold of change and they are conflicted about boys and best friends and societies expectations of them.
I think it was brilliant. And I know your teacher would have said all that too if she had had more time and the correct address.
And btw, you should really write a book. You're funny.
I
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